Meeting To Talk

I talked with Ms Kelly yesterday in her office from 4:30 to 'bout 6:00pm. I talked a lot 'bout me :p

As I wrote previous article, I am down these days, you know :*(

I'm always trying to be more objective to myself and analyze myself. It is actually rly difficult but soooooooooo important!! Now, I know everything in my mind. I know what the problem which I'm rly suffering from is.

The problem is "Myself".

I know the thing I can only change is myself. Then, everything is gonna change lil by lil if I could change my attitude. The more time passes, the more I will get used to this new environment. Someday I will forget this pain of my heart that I'm feeling every day, every moment... I AM sure X-(

But.... Part of me can't accept :'O

NO....!!! Not "Can't"

I think I DON'T WANT to accept. I DON'T WANT to understand. I DON'T WANT to forget.

WHY?? :@ I DONNO!!!!!!

That is the point. That is the problem. I don't know how to manage this feeling, you know. I know everything in my mind, but I don't understand in my heart.

Now, my situation itself is not bad. I have a lot of friends and people who help me soooooooooooo much around me. I have some friends in my class, and they are rly nice to me. I won't give up my aims and dreams, so I still have a big passion :-) I can talk with Int'l students and I can rly enjoy talking with them every day :-D

See??

I am soooooooooooo lucky!! Don't you think so??

AH !! :'(

I want to be a person who can control my feeling....How should I go beyond myself??
How should I move on to the next step??