Happy :-D ?? Unhappy ;-( ??

I have two bombs in my body. I mean I have irremediable diseases in my body now.
One is a really awful headache spell. and the other one is AVPR (actually, as for this, I am not sure if this is its exact name....) this is an eye disease.

I am not strong physically by nature.I often have had sickness.

I remember I already had a bad headache spell when I were very little. I went to a lot of hospitals, maybe about 8 or 9. Yet, every doctor said I might have a migraine. I have some medicines which is new,very expensive, special migraine medicine. But it isn't effective for me.
Doctors incline their heads as on man, and say "hmm...Why??"

Last year, at the end of November I had a terrible headache spell in my dorm again and was taken to the red cross hospital in Akita prefecture by an ambulance.
I already wrote about it on this blog. Check this article. "Thursday, November 30, 2006 Ambulance" Then you can know some details.

As for my eye disease, I am not sure what it is yet. And neither do Doctors.
I had a surgery in January24 because, in order to the disease I had a detachment of retina in my right eye. It was an emergency surgery and hospitalization. I had been in the Yamagata University hospital about for 2 weeks. It was really really painful!!! What is worse, I still have a possibility of another surgery and my left eye is also dangerous.

So I wasn't able to attend to any classes during winter program.I started from EAP(English Academic for purposes) level 1 last year. There is no skip system in EAP. I haven't finish EAP level 3 yet. I have to do it with new students from this spring. I cannot move on to BE(Basic education) with my love classmates ;-( That is really tough for me but I decided that I will do my best. The reason why I have such a disease is unknown. But I know it is not my fault lol

There are no ways to care these two diseases completely at this point, my doctor said. Many people think I am so unhappy or so poor. And They yearn for me.But I can feel happiness clearly now actually. At least I live now!! I can see the world now :-D I learned a lot of things which many healthy people cannot learn. I would not be able to learn them in my dairy life. It was precious time in my life. I noticed it is very very important for me to have GR8 friends. And now I have!!

No pain, No life.

I can't change the fact that I have diseases. But I can change my mind if I really want to!! I think there are no accidents in life. Only fatality is there.

I don't have time to be fall into a depression. I live now. This is the truth then, why don't I smile??Let's Lough Out Loudly with me!!!!Hahaha!! I will be more positive!!:-) Enjoy Our Life!!
You only get one life so live it to the fullest!!!

I feel I really really wanna help my friends and people with all of my strength. One of my friends who tell me very gr8 quotes said "It's easy to make someone happy but keeping them happy is a whole different story." I know. I know so I wish your happiness 4ever. So,

May I help you for your happiness??