My Weekend ;-(

Long time no see. I’m in Taiwan now!! lol

I live in Sanchong city near Taipei city now. I’ve already studied Chinese about for more than one month here. I really like Taiwan. Taiwanese people are very nice. They are very friendly and many of them like Japan. So, I feel comfortable here. lol There are a lot of delicious foods in Taiwan. I love fruits in Taiwan. I often buy fruits juice. These days “Bai xiang guo green tea” and “sweet Oolong tea” is in my boom. Do you guys know them?? Especially, there are no Bai xiang guo in Japan so I almost every day buy that tea. lol It is very cheap!! It costs only 10 Taiwan dollars. Oh~~why there is no Bai xiang guo in Japan?!?! I want my family and my friends in Japan to try it!! They must like it!!! Well, I love the atmosphere in night market. It is quite different from Japan. Whenever I go there I feel like I’m really in Taiwan!

Well, Taipei is very hot everyday. But it’s rainy heavily yesterday and today because we have a very huge tyhpoon now. "Qiang mi"is it's name. It sounds pretty but actually it's terrible. Today I don't have class coz of the typhoon. It disturbs people's life a lot!! Damn it...

In my Chinese class, teacher told us that in the summer and fall in Taiwan, it is pretty much hot and Typhoon comes so often. Typhoon in Taiwan and one in Japan are very different. Especially in my hometown we don’t have typhoon so often. In Taiwan, it is very scary when Typhoon comes. We have heavy rain and too windy. We had a very big Typhoon on Moon festival day. It was so bad. Well, I don’t think the fall in Taiwan is truly “fall”. That is because flowers are blooming and leaves in trees are still green. It becomes colder in fall in my hometown, Yamagata prefecture. It is very cold especially in winter. It is said that they don’t have snow in winter in Taipei city. But when it rained, it would be very cold and humid. By the way, spring is the most beautiful season in Taiwan. There are many kinds of flowers and they are very beautiful. Also, weather is not such cold.
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There are too many Japanese students in my University: National Taiwan Normal University. I don’t use Japanese in school. Because I have a strong Touhoku dialect in my Japanese, others wouldn’t be able to understand my Japanese. Ah, many Taiwanese people say I look like Taiwanese, not a Japanese lol. I don’t know why!! haha My Chinese class is pretty good. I love my teacher and my classmates. My teacher is very good teacher. She is passionate and has humor. I have 7 classmates in addition to me. 4 students are Japanese, 2 are from France and 1 is from Korean. There is only one boy in my class lol. We are all getting along with together.
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28th in this month is “Teacher’s day” in Taiwan. It’s interesting!! We don’t have such a day in Japan. My classmates and I are gonna write a message card for our teacher. I had a test of unit 12 in the level 1 text book. I hope I did ok. lol The day before yesterday, we started to study level 2 text book. My text book is easy actually but I cannot speak and listen to Chinese. That is I can’t have conversation with people in Chinese. This is the biggest problem for me in Taiwan. I gotta practice so hard!! I worry about my Chinese skill everyday. If my Chinese didn’t improve one year after…What should I do!!!???

Btw, I have a language exchange partner now. She and I are good friends!! Yeah~~!! She is a graduated school of NTNU. I’m so happy to meet her.
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AIU students maybe prepare for the school festival now. It is very fun!! I heard that it was snowy in Hokkaido these days. The temperature was around 6 or 7 Celsius. No way!!!! Too cold!! This year would be the first year that I don’t have snow in winter. I would feel very strange but interesting. haha

Monochrome

I wouldn't make a trifling excuse but Ive noticed that I would never be sartisfied with anything.
But I'm trying to fly. I felt like I would be able to get out from this situation someday. I wanted to believe so.
I'm tired of my life everyday and I've been runing, glossing over my faults.

It's the show time. Oh no, give it up for material Girls.
Gucci Fendi Louis Vuitton CHANEL, you want more? Name the price. How much value fo you have? Can't you count your value without those brands?

I was born in Japan. How can I change something?
I have gone through the hardships of my life. Then, I realized that life is a gamble. Who would be a loser? or winner? Are you get used to being "loser"? All day All night. Why don't anything finish? I worry about everything today again. It is painful. I have complaints. I just feel jealous to someone and laugh at him or her.

To tell the truth, I don't know anything anymore.

Look at your self?? Then I have myself.
Friendship? I don't need seeming friends!!
I do not know my value!!
I do not want have "feeling" which is very troublesome!!　

But I'm trying to fly.
Although I have been pursuing my dream for a long time,
I cannot still reach it.
I m pretending that I am not feeling miserable. I hide myself, tell lies to my self always.
I wanna say my true feeling to somebody!!but I cannot say...

I tell a lie and make a tall tall wall to protect myself.
I dont cry because I dont wanna show my weakness to anybody.
Coz Im scared.
But, am I happy, then??

I cannot love myself.
How should I be in this everlasting darkness?
I knew that there are no help even though how much I shout out.
I norticed it.
What shall I do?

I wish I would be free from this situation someday. So even ehough I feel miserable, still I live with all of my strength. I will smile back to my bad luck.

A Letter

I got a letter from one of my American friends.
He wrote　5 pages!! I was really happy!! (His handwriting was a little bit hard to read though lol)

He has been at my university since December of last year.
We are good friends. We still keep in touch with each other.

He let me know about how he and some other American friends are doing these days. The letter reminds me of the time we shared in AIU for about one year. In the letter, he said:
"I want to come to Japan...It seems being in Japan for such a long time has put me behind. I would never take it back though,...
So many things have changed, and some times it makes me sad."

I really really can understand his feeling. I felt pain in my heart.
It is the thing that I feel now exactly.

Coz the past things can be our past properly,
Coz our rememberance can be our memory undoubtedly,
Coz we can forget pain we felt before,

We humans can live.


Even if saying "good-bye" was heartbreaking, we would be able to live coz we know we would meet a lot of new people in the future.
Even if I am having a hard time now, I will still be able to live coz I can look forward to happiness in the future.

Im really scared of the changes.
I always feel scared ...

Yet, we cannot stay here forever.
We have to change.
In this three-dimensional world, time goes only one way.
Nobody can take the past back. We all gotta go ahead.

Such a common knowledge, such a thing which everyone knows,,,

My head understands it but my heart cannot accept....
How painful it is, how sad it is, how hard it is...

I really feel that,
I am very happy that I could have such great friends all over the world.
I wanna believe that there is an "everlasting thing" in the world.
This feeling of mine is eternal.

I wanna be with you guys forever.
I wanna be your good friend forever.
Forever...

Taiwan and China -To Soai.

I read a very profound diary on one of my friends blog. I think his topic is really interesting for me too. Let me say something about it.
Actually I also don't have clear opinion or knowledge about this topic yet. It is said that Chinese and Taiwanese issues are more serious than Chinese and Japanese issues. Through communication with many international students in AIU, I learned that even among students not only nations, care those issues. As you said in the diary, students from Taiwan insist that they are Taiwanese, not Chinese. On the other hand, Students who came from Main Land China say that Taiwan is just a part of China.
I often confused when I ask Chinese to some of them. There are mainly two types of Chinese,letters, u know? They are 繁體字：traditional letters and 简体字:simplified letters. When I asked Chinese people, I mean friends from Main Land China, they said "Traditional type of Chinese is not a proper Chinese. It is just a dialect. Simplified type of Chinese is the only correct Chinese."
Because I like both letters，I felt uncomfortable to listen to it. It confuse me a lot.

Another example, When I asked Chinese language to students from Taiwan, they said that they feel a little bit uncomfortable when I said "Chinese language". Because they use "Taiwanese"...hmm but isn't it different Taiwanese from Chinese?? However, I cannot say anything about it clearly. I think I can learn more about these issues and get a lot of knowledge. Yet, these issues have a many aspects. I have to think about it critically. Critical thinking is to think about a thing, an event, or an issue very deeply from many perspectives, from many fields such as political, economical, educational, historical, military,and so on.
Even though I learned many things about these issues, I don't think that I can really understand them deeply yet. Because I am a Japanese, so I cannot really understand people's feelings who live in Taiwan and in Main Land China.
I will go to Taiwan from this summer to study Chinese language mainly. However, I would love to learn more about these delicate issues. I hope I would able to have some opportunities to talk about them with Taiwanese people, Chinese people, and other people from all over the world. I want to know more about Japanese impression for other Asian people. I believe that Japan is also a part of Asia. There may be many people who hate us, Japan. I wanna seek out some ways to get along with other Asian country.

Finally, Thank you Soai to share such a good experience and your opinion on your blog. I hope I can talk with you again.

What Is Sign Language For Me?

I am really interested in Communication. That is why I would love to learn many languages such as English, Chinese, and Russian. I think that Sign Language is also one of those languages. In Sign Language, sound is not so important but the hands is important. Facial expressions and mouth movements are also necessary. However, languages are languages.

There are some people who say Languages are just tools for communication. Yes, but I think that it is not just a tool but a vital thing for every one. I cannot convey my feelings or opinions to other people without languages. Language is a culture itself. If I look at a language, I can get much information about people who are using the language, and their lives, and the area or country in which the language is used. I know that Language has a big power to move people and even a country.

I knew of the existence of some kind of language for deaf people before I started to learn Sign Language in our club. However, I have never learned any of them except how to express my name in Japanese Sign Language. I learned it when I was an elementary school student. There was a finger letter list on the back wall of my class room. I had never seen people who cannot hear or speak until I joined the Sign Language Club. Actually, I was planning to set up another kind of Sign Language Club which was for people who want to do ”Sign Language Chorus”. I submitted an application form for a new club activity. At that time, a boy who is a present leader in our club was going to establish a Sign Language Club as well as me. However, he was planning to learn Sign Language as a language. At first, I could not imagine learning Sign Language as if it were a foreign language. The reason why we combined our clubs was to not make two Sign Language clubs because it would be very confusing if there were two sign language clubs.

When I started to learn sign languages: ASL and JSL, I found that Sign Languages are significant and very interesting. I felt that it was very interesting to learn them from the basics. First, I was surprised at the big differences between ASL and JSL. I was thinking that they were the same or quite similar. However, except finger letters, they are very different. When I noticed their differences, I truly realized that Sign Languages are real languages.

I go to Akita city to a club there with some club members. I have the opportunity to talk with deaf people. It is very difficult for me to express my feelings, to explain what I want to say in Sign Language. Even though all of the members there are Japanese, sometimes we cannot understand each other. At first, I was frustrated with my poor Sign Language skill and thought that I could not master it. However, the more I participated in each activity, the more I realized what is most important. The most important thing is my attitude. In AIU, a lot of students and teachers came from many different countries. Our common language is usually English. For me, English is necessary especially in AIU. Yet, I don’t have confidence in my English skill. So I couldn’t talk with them much at first. However, I was eager to know their cultures and their thoughts about things; I tried to communicate with them as much as I could. Now I have many friends all over the world. I remembered this experience. Although I cannot use the language, I can communicate with people as long as I want to talk with them.

If I could master Sign Language I would be able to communicate with people more smoothly. I want to ask many people what they feel and think about things I am curious about. Maybe they have different thoughts or feelings from mine.

I can hear, speak, and see. I want to use anything I can use to communicate with people impartially. I want to contribute to society if somebody needs my skills.

Taking Responsibilities

I have never minded...I didnt care... I didnt even look at....

Now finally noticed the importance of them.

Im going to driving skool these days. I started to go to Matsugazsaki driving skool from 11th of this month. Since then, I go there every day. The system of the skool is kinda severe. I have to take many lectures and practice driving a car w professional driver. I have two big paper exams. One is to get a learner's permit and the other one is to get a license. In addition to these exams, of course I gotta take driving tests two or three times. I already bought a book to study for the paper exams. It costed 1,000yen. Until I go to the skool, I have never imagined that all of the car drivers took every classes and lectures in driving skool as well.

I have heard that in the US or other countries' systems of driving skool r more easy and simple. At first I was jealous to my friends who came from those countries and already have licenses. My skool is too severe, I thought.

However, the more I learn about traffic rule and driving, the more I get scared. I was thinking that driving a car is not such a big deal. Just step the accelerator or the break, or engage the clutch. Yet, I was completely wrong. It was very difficult to adjust those pedals. Also, timing is very important. I have to look at not only just in front of me and my car but also further away to get more information which is necessary to avoid serious accidents. I also have to look at sign board such as "Right of Way for Pedestrians"or "Halt sign" and so forth. However, my sight r becoming narrow whenever I drive a car.

Before I practice driving a car, I always do an image training many times, but during the driving there r no room for thinking about 1seconds later. Im always in a hurry. I check right and left side, then also look at the room mirror, but still dangerous. My engine stopped five times in the middle of the crossing road the day before yesterday. I lost countenance and was get into a panic. The reason y the engine stopped was that I mistakenly used third gear instead of low gear. They seemed similar so I didnt notice the difference. Timimg and Adjustment r very important but difficult. I always cant change the gear from low to second smoothly. I will take an examination to get a learner's permit. Tmr is the day of evaluation by my teacher. I hope I can pass it without any probs...

I was a pedestrian or a rider of a bicycle for a long time.21 years exactly.　I have ridden on a car many times of course, but not on the driver's seat. I have never controlled the vehicle which has very big power which can destroy things made by concrete or even can kill many people at once. I took 10 lectures about traffic rules already at my driving skool. It seems troublesome but I think these r very helpful and valuable. I didnt know that I didnt know many of the meaning of traffic signs. I didnt care rather than I didnt know, actually.

Driving a car means I have to take responsibility if anything serious happened. To tell the truth, Im scared of it. Car is very attractive thing coz it has very strong power and high speed. People r tend to yearning for both of them. However, I decided that I will remember it has risks whenever I drive it.

Now Im practicing driving the manual car not the automatic car. It is very tricky and difficult. However, I will do my best. Coz I wanna take my family es, my grandma and grandpa to somewhere in gratitude. I will drive a car and go to many places w them as they used to take me before. If I could drive, they can drink and sleep. They dont have to worry about anything. If they were happy, I would be happy too. I rly wanna return a favor. I will continue my part-time job as long as I can.

I will leave Japan soon. Provably from this fall, I will study abroad. Before that and after that too, of course, I wanna do what they want me to do. To go shopping often w my grandma is my dream. I will buy anything what she wants. They r getting older and older so I wanna be w them as much as I can.
I rly need the driving license!! I gotta get it!!

No Promises

I dont know my feeling.
I dont understand myself the most.
Just I dont want to let u go. I just need u here.

No promises.

"Friendship" doesnt contain any powers
To force u to stay here.

I dont wanna run away. I dont wanna resist u.
I wanna stay by ur side forever.

No promises.

I cant bind u. U r free...
Free from any restraints.

I am restricted by ur existence.
When is my turn? Wouldnt u notice? Wouldnt u release me?

I will just say "OK".
That is the only thing I can say now. Not "Yes"but "No" neither.
Im laying on between them.

Vague, Subtle, Ambiguous, Obscure, Dubious, Fuzzy,Gray....

It is complicated so very simple.
It seems very easy but actually a lil bit difficult.

Is this a diplomatic game? Should I maneuver myself through ur words?

Wanna be the special.
Wanna be the only one.
Only for u.

When would u realize? Or maybe u already realized,
and just u r pretending that u dont know anything at all...

How long do I have to wait for u?
I should be patient more than anyone else. Until when?

I just donno u and I.
I just wanna be w u.

Can I have ur call tonite?
Can u talk w me? Can u send me an email today?

Do u think of me at least once in a day?

What is the "best friend" ??

I dont understand.
I dont understand.

No promises.

Set My Independent Day

The words I wrote above is my slogan of this year. lol

I gotta face to myself without running away.
I must not depend on other people so soon.
I shouldn't talk many things to other people es in my Uni...blab blab blab~~:p

A trouble with a person at the end of January was the trigger to think about myself.
I have noticed that the weakness and the durtiness of myself for a long time but I just tried to pretend that I didn't recognize them. Yet now, I gotta fight with them finally. About 1 month has passed since then. I'm seriously facing to myself, I think. Yea...Anyway I'm very sorry for everyone who I took their time for this troubles to...

I will ensure my style.
I'm gonna control myself who is easy to be negative and feel alone to get along with myself.
I gotta think about the distance with others physically and also mentally.(es, in my uni, many people have a paralyzed "friends" sense. Btw, What r friends? What is friendship? I wrote an essay in Composition1 class before but I still can't get exact answer...maybe I cannot get EXACT answer coz there r no answers...they r depend on person to person...maybe??)
I gotta think about how to express my feeling, opinions, and thoughts.
I gotta think about how to have objective and diversified point of views...blab blab blab...

What I wanna say is,,, there r a lot of things that I gotta do.
However, I shouldn't be in a hurry.
Consider about myself and my life more deeply.
Talk with people and share infomation more.
I feel meeting with people and talking with people are really precious.
Wanna learn more!!!!
TAKE ACTIONS FOR MY FUTURE~:-D

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Boy Who Cried Wolf, illustrated by Milo Winter in a 1919 Aesop anthology
For other uses, see Cry Wolf (disambiguation).

The Boy Who Cried Wolf, also known as The Shepherd Boy and the Wolf, is a fable attributed to Aesop (210 in Perry's numbering system).Created In 1673.[1] The protagonist of the fable is a bored shepherd boy who entertained himself by calling out "wolf". Nearby villagers who came to his rescue found that the alarms were false and that they'd wasted their time. When the boy was actually confronted by a wolf, the villagers did not believe his cries for help and the wolf ate the flock. In some fairy-tale versions, when the villagers ignore him the wolf eats him, and in other versions he simply mocks the boy, saying now no one will help him, and that it serves him right for playing tricks.
The moral is stated at the end of the fable as:


"Even when liars tell the truth, they are never believed. The liar will lie once, twice, and then perish when he tells the truth."


In reference to this tale, the phrase to "cry wolf" has long been a common idiom in English, described in Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable [2], and modern English dictionaries [3][4].
In the American intelligence community, "crying wolf syndrome" is labeled as a condition where threat analysts are reluctant to report on an imminent threat, such as a terrorist attack, due to the fact that if the threat is unfounded or greatly inflated, future threats will not be believed.

Credibility

International relation is becoming complicated these days.
The technology of Mass Media, Internet, and Transpotation are improving.
However, the relationship with other countries are going into recession.

A country is composed of people.
People have a power to move a country.
Thus, International Relationship is same as the relationship with other people.
All the people in the world may experience the conflicts with other people.

In 1950s, the United States insisted "Domino Theory" which is that communism seemed monolithic during the Vietnam War and they really wanted to create strong "credibility" which is that the United States tried to make US ally and US people have confidence that their willingness to commitment is for freedom and justice. Then, many people supported the United States based on the credibility.

"Credibility" is very strong but extremely weak.
U can move vast people who trust u. They will help u and support u as long as they believe the "credibility".

The reason why it is weak is...once u betrayed the people, they will against u.
"Credibility" is very fragile and it is hard to create again.
Maybe, u cant reconstruct one thoroughly anymore.
"Betrayal" won't be forgiven. Never!!!!
The people who supported u once, will bare their fangs to u.
They will be the most dangerous and the most fearful emeny for u.
Again, they will never forgive u, and will vow revenge on u.
It is too late, too late to regret after ur betrayal.
U will deserve it.

"It is no use crying over spilt milk."

No one would help u anymore, u know??

C??

They r laughing at u. lol