Monochrome

I wouldn't make a trifling excuse but Ive noticed that I would never be sartisfied with anything.
But I'm trying to fly. I felt like I would be able to get out from this situation someday. I wanted to believe so.
I'm tired of my life everyday and I've been runing, glossing over my faults.

It's the show time. Oh no, give it up for material Girls.
Gucci Fendi Louis Vuitton CHANEL, you want more? Name the price. How much value fo you have? Can't you count your value without those brands?

I was born in Japan. How can I change something?
I have gone through the hardships of my life. Then, I realized that life is a gamble. Who would be a loser? or winner? Are you get used to being "loser"? All day All night. Why don't anything finish? I worry about everything today again. It is painful. I have complaints. I just feel jealous to someone and laugh at him or her.

To tell the truth, I don't know anything anymore.

Look at your self?? Then I have myself.
Friendship? I don't need seeming friends!!
I do not know my value!!
I do not want have "feeling" which is very troublesome!!　

But I'm trying to fly.
Although I have been pursuing my dream for a long time,
I cannot still reach it.
I m pretending that I am not feeling miserable. I hide myself, tell lies to my self always.
I wanna say my true feeling to somebody!!but I cannot say...

I tell a lie and make a tall tall wall to protect myself.
I dont cry because I dont wanna show my weakness to anybody.
Coz Im scared.
But, am I happy, then??

I cannot love myself.
How should I be in this everlasting darkness?
I knew that there are no help even though how much I shout out.
I norticed it.
What shall I do?

I wish I would be free from this situation someday. So even ehough I feel miserable, still I live with all of my strength. I will smile back to my bad luck.